Looking Forward to 2012

 me at the end of 2011

 

As every year I have high hopes for the new year to come, big reams, goals and resolutions are made and not always fulfilled. I did fulfill a lot of the things I had outlined for 2011 but the ones that fell flat all revolved around me.  I didn't take the time to reflect and work  on me, and because of that I didn't go forward with any of my personal goals of finding a new career or selling any of my creations.

 

I am grateful for all the lessons 2011 brought me, I am grateful for all my friends an family. It was a quiet but busy year. It didn't turn out the way I envisioned it but it was a good year none the less. 

 

This year instead of doing resolutions, I am dedicating a theme for the year. I will have a whole year to work on it and there isn't a check list to check off. Anything I accomplish puts me that much closer to finding out who I am right now, at this stage of life. My theme for 2012 is me. I need to take time to reflect on how I've changed and grown over the last 7 years of being a mother, I need to reflect on how my relationship with Rock has changed and grown and how I can make things better. I need to reflect on my role as a mother now that my children are growing up and we are leaving the baby stages behind for the last time. I need to figure out why I have this fear of putting myself out there and making something of myself. Instead I marinate miserably at my job when I have talents and potential.  I feel like I'm just coasting right now.

 

I'm feeling more reflective today because it's the one year anniversary of my MIL's funeral and it's making me realize I didn't make enough changes this past year to make the most of my life.  This holiday season a few of my friends have lost their loved ones as well. This is making me reflect on my life even more. One of them was a young mother of 3 young children.  I keep thinking what if it was me? I don't think I've done enough to make the most of the life I have.  I need to make the most of it, I need to make changes to benefit all of us, life is so short and precious.

 

2011 I supported Rock through his journey, I watched the children while he goes works out and attends meetings that help him change both physically and emotionally. I  supported him through the loss of essentially a person, he has lost over 150 lbs since March and still going strong.

 

2012 will be my year, I hope to get back on the health kick I was on before I gave up on myself because I felt like my body failed me again when I did the triathlon relay. I am so mad at myself for not being able to finish the race and having to be pulled out of the water. I will start the year out right, change my diet and get back into the gym.  I will focus back on getting healthy as opposed to training for an event. I think that doing that took the fun out of it for me. It also brought up memories of my body failing me in the past. 

 

So see the theme is me, I have a lot of work to do on a lot of fronts to make myself a better person. I can't wait to see what this next year will bring.

 

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year may 2012 bring forth new hope. I hope that 2012 is filled with lots of love, laughter, prosperity, family, friends, health and happiness. 

Ania

Me at the end of 2010

Holiday Party

So last weekend not only did we celebrate Monkey's 7th birthday but the next day her BFF was having her 6th birthday. She also has a December birthday and it's just easier to celebrate it last weekend in November.  She had a princess party and Cinderella came to visit.

This Thursday  Monkey was part of the Glee choir at school and they sang at church for the Advent Mass.

And yesterday we had our work Christmas party, its a cheap night out where we get to dress up, have a nice dinner and dance.

This is me in the bathroom at the party. I never got around to asking anyone to take any decent pictures of me. You can't really tell in these pictures but I used a pair of socks under my hair to give some height up front.  I actually liked how my hair turned out it was a collaboration of a few different hairstyles I pinned on Pinterest. And I do like how this dress turned out, there are a few things I would do better next time but I am still proud of it.

Rock and I ready for a night out.  Look at how big his jacket is, he's doing so awesome with his weight loss I am so proud of him, he's lost over 130 lbs.

And while this picture was uploading he and I danced in our family room to Andrea Bocelli's Con te Partiro, it was the song we danced our first dance to as husband and wife.

A self-portrait after dinner.

Self-portrait on the dance floor

Tearing up the dance floor. I miss dancing but not a good mix with attachment parenting and extended nursing. I love that last picture of me; looks like I was having a good time.


And tonight we went out to dinner with my parents to celebrate Monkey's 7th birthday. She is being spoiled this year with birthday parties and special dinners.


Hope everyone else had a good weekend too.

Ania

Progress

 This morning was my morning to go and train for my swim. I had everything ready so in the morning I would just get up and go. I guess I was being  optimistic given the last few nights but the race is fast approaching and I still would like to bring my time down. I went to bed early last night because I was just beat but I asked Rock to wake me early in the morning. This morning he tried but Tutu was still nursing and fussing (like he had been all night) so Rock told me to stay home try and catch a bit more sleep because he is more important.  I guess he is right but I did want to go train.


I haven't share my numbers for a while, since I started this in May my weight has gone up and down but right now my grand total is 5lbs. Not that great BUT I have gone down 2 sizes, my "skinny" clothes are too big. So the more important thing is going down. My goal from the get go was to get healthier, and yes losing weight is important but because I'm building muscle that sometimes cancels each other out. Shaving inches from my waist is more important.


My time last week was 13 minutes for the 750m. I would like to get that down to 10 minutes but I have shaved 7 minutes off my starting time 2 months ago.  I *think* my race time would be faster given that my competitive nature would kick in plus my adrenaline but then I need to take into consideration the open water. so we won't know until the race.

This is me before I started to train.

And this is me recently.  Things are tighter and there is more definition. An improvement if not a great one.

It's nice to be able to wear clothes that have been hiding for a while in the back of my closet because they were tight. After having 3 kids my body has changed, while with each kid I lost more weight, the weight was distributed differently so my clothes didn't fit the same way. This is helping me combat that.  And while I know I will never be able to get rid of my tummy (even when I trained 6 days a week when I swam competitively I still had it) at least I can make it smaller and redistribute my weight.


And I've been eating healthy snacks at night when I'm feeling peckish. Slowly, slowly things are getting better.


Ania

Inspiration

This is Rock, my darling husband of almost 10 years  (September 22 is the magic day). We've had our ups and our downs but we've got a good thing going.  I wanted to share the amazing journey he is on right now and let him be an inspiration to others.

The last 2 years have  been hard on us, hard on him. First his step-father got sick and passed away and then 6 months after his death, his mother got sick and passed away a year later. So hard to have 2 special and important people in your life leave you. It's been hard but we'reworking through the loss as a family.

Rock realized that he needed to make some changes in his life, he knew that weight help play a role in the death of his parents.  In the last 6 months he has made major changes  in his life, he has changed his diet,started working out again and has lost over 80 lbs. I couldn't be prouder of him. He is doing so well and I just wanted to brag about it. 

Now I just have to get my self going and get more serious about my diet (to help with my exercise) so I can lose some more weight to get healthier.   Need to start stocking the house with healthy snacks.

Ania

I did it

I'm excited a month ago I posted the finished version of this skirt I upcycled. I was going to give it away because I cut it too slim and it didn't fit me properly.  I tried it on last night and not only did it fit but I actually needed to make the elastic smaller. I wore it to work today and got lots of compliments. One co-worker told me that the pictures I had posted on my blog didn't do the skirt justice that all the little details like the sequins on the skirt didn't show up.

 On a side note I trained again this morning. I did the 750m in 14 minutes so my time is starting to go back down. Yeah me. And after stalling for a few weeks my weight went down 4lbs as well.  All good things.

Now there is 37 days left until the race and I am getting nervous. It's not the distance, cuz I know I can rock it. It's not the competing because I use to do that. What is making me nervous in swimming in the lake, all the waves, the groups of people swimming all at once.  I will get over this, hopefully. I still have 37 more days to work on this. I can do it. I can do it.

Ania