Looking Forward to 2012

 me at the end of 2011

 

As every year I have high hopes for the new year to come, big reams, goals and resolutions are made and not always fulfilled. I did fulfill a lot of the things I had outlined for 2011 but the ones that fell flat all revolved around me.  I didn't take the time to reflect and work  on me, and because of that I didn't go forward with any of my personal goals of finding a new career or selling any of my creations.

 

I am grateful for all the lessons 2011 brought me, I am grateful for all my friends an family. It was a quiet but busy year. It didn't turn out the way I envisioned it but it was a good year none the less. 

 

This year instead of doing resolutions, I am dedicating a theme for the year. I will have a whole year to work on it and there isn't a check list to check off. Anything I accomplish puts me that much closer to finding out who I am right now, at this stage of life. My theme for 2012 is me. I need to take time to reflect on how I've changed and grown over the last 7 years of being a mother, I need to reflect on how my relationship with Rock has changed and grown and how I can make things better. I need to reflect on my role as a mother now that my children are growing up and we are leaving the baby stages behind for the last time. I need to figure out why I have this fear of putting myself out there and making something of myself. Instead I marinate miserably at my job when I have talents and potential.  I feel like I'm just coasting right now.

 

I'm feeling more reflective today because it's the one year anniversary of my MIL's funeral and it's making me realize I didn't make enough changes this past year to make the most of my life.  This holiday season a few of my friends have lost their loved ones as well. This is making me reflect on my life even more. One of them was a young mother of 3 young children.  I keep thinking what if it was me? I don't think I've done enough to make the most of the life I have.  I need to make the most of it, I need to make changes to benefit all of us, life is so short and precious.

 

2011 I supported Rock through his journey, I watched the children while he goes works out and attends meetings that help him change both physically and emotionally. I  supported him through the loss of essentially a person, he has lost over 150 lbs since March and still going strong.

 

2012 will be my year, I hope to get back on the health kick I was on before I gave up on myself because I felt like my body failed me again when I did the triathlon relay. I am so mad at myself for not being able to finish the race and having to be pulled out of the water. I will start the year out right, change my diet and get back into the gym.  I will focus back on getting healthy as opposed to training for an event. I think that doing that took the fun out of it for me. It also brought up memories of my body failing me in the past. 

 

So see the theme is me, I have a lot of work to do on a lot of fronts to make myself a better person. I can't wait to see what this next year will bring.

 

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year may 2012 bring forth new hope. I hope that 2012 is filled with lots of love, laughter, prosperity, family, friends, health and happiness. 

Ania

Me at the end of 2010

Have a Little Faith

So I've been thinking about my old wish list. I had things on the list that were easily obtainable, I could have walked into a store and bought them any time. By putting them on the list it just put it in the forefront of my mind to get them. I suppose a bunch of things on the list were obtained that way. But then there was things that I put on the list that I had no way of knowing how I was going to get those things. Some things like a bigger house with a yard were not in the books at that time. It took a whole series of events to happen, in order for that wish to come true. When I put it down on the list I never imagined how that would come about.


I also wanted another child. Rock and I had discussed that even though I wanted another child we were done having children. Even though rationally I understood the reasons why we shouldn't have anymore children, I felt that we weren't done having children and I really wanted another one. Again I didn't understand the how it would happen. All I know is I put it on my list and prayed and 4 days before Rock went to the Dr to discuss getting a vasectomy, we got pregnant. I just knew I needed to trust. The world is full of miracles from little things to big, I am grateful that I put my faith out to God and He in turn rewarded me. We don't always need to know the how to obtain the end result, sometime we just need to have faith.


I hope this has inspired you to have a little faith.

May you have a blessed day.

When you wish upon a star...

So 2 years ago I created a wish list, it had various things on there that I wanted. I then forgot about the list because we had alot going on. I found it about a year ago and most of the things on the list had come to fruition. I looked at it again tonight and found that all but 4 things have come into my life.




I started a background for a new wish list, as I sketched and drew I put my intentions into it. I can't wait to see what will come from this list. I put hands praying and stars on it (cuz you wish on stars).





I used one of my favorite supplies to work with aqua crayons. You sketch with them like crayons and then add water and boom you have watercolour. LOVE it.


I also did up another one of my girls.