Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Practice What you Preach or I am Good Enough

Sometimes we need to practice what we preach. Sometimes we are better "fixing" others lives and "helping" them then we are our own.   I am at a point where I need to take my own advice. 
I am currently reading the newest issue of Artful Blogger. It is such eye candy. I love reading it when it comes out quarterly. It has such pretty, inspiring pictures, such beautiful insightful women in it.  And as I read it that big, ugly voice comes out and tells me I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I am not talented enough, I am not interesting enough to be able to grace these pages one day. I am not enough according to my voice.
I have to silence the voice and while it may be that right now I am not some of those things I am working to getting better and practice makes perfect.  I also have to realize that I don't know all the behind the scenes stuff in others lives. 
Right now I am embracing this quote "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." Steven Furtick
It is so true. I need to learn to appreciate me, love me and be grateful for me.   I should keep my nose in my business and not worry about what everyone else is up to. It's a struggle, I have always had a hard time with being accepted. I was the shy, awkward, geeky child growing up. I was never part of the "in-crowd" , I always wanted to fit it but never did for a number of reasons.  Being the child of immigrant parents there was things I wasn't allowed to do like everyone else, growing up poor I didn't have the cool things to let me fit it, being smart intimidate people so I dumbed myself down (and still do) so I could fit in better. 
I need to stop needing, wanting the approval of others and just live for myself. Ultimately I will only have myself to account for at the end of my life.  Did I do things to the best of my ability? Did I try my hardest? Was I the best me I could be?  Who cares if I was popular especially if it meant selling myself out. Who cares if I made it into a magazine (although it would be really cool), if I wasn't being me.  I need to remember the important things in life.  I saw this quote some where on my internet travels and it fits this theme so well; "The only person you should try to be better then is the person you were yesterday."
So as I battle the green-eyed monster I will try and remember these things and try to be true to myself as I negotiate my way through this world.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Feel like you are competing with all these great people and feel like a failure? Or feel you should be doing things even though it goes against your morals or values? Or maybe you spend too much time on things that don't matter in the long run. Let me know in the comments if you've been here too.

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