I feel like the last few months I have been letting myself down and letting down my readers (the few that I have). My blog hasn’t be exactly active or riveting, I have my 2 weekly posts and that’s it. Once in a blue moon I throw in something else but nothing exciting or helpful. I hope that will change but right now I am in a funk.
A big funk that I can’t seem to shake; I think that it’s partly because I have yet to do the yearly exercise of reflecting on what last year had to offer, the good, the bad and the ugly``*/, it allows me to see where I have been which leads to the next exercise of seeing here I need to go. I haven’t put any goals, dreams or ambitions in place. I haven’t done my vision boards; I haven’t taken the time to invest in myself.
The funny thing about that is I am asking my family for some time for myself but yet I am not willing to invest that time for myself. If I am not willing to put the work and put myself on my priority list then how will other honor my requests.
Because of this I feel like I am spinning aimlessly in the universe, I have no plan of action, I have no goals to follow. I am lost. I am going to try to make myself a priority and do this, maybe once I do things will start to fall into place and I can start taking action.
At the moment I am feeling very overwhelmed with my life, I am having a hard time dealing with my emotions around Monkey being diagnosed with some learning disabilities (I have a post written about this and yet I can’t take the actions necessary to publish it), I am feeling very overwhelmed with changes at work and the stressful environment they are causing, I am frustrated with myself that I am the cause of my feeling lost, I am frustrated with myself that I can’t help Monkey more, I am frustrated with myself that I am getting in my own way, that I can’t silence the negative nellies in my head, I am frustrated with my knee, my loss of activity. It all just overwhelms me. I am paralyzed with fear, I feel like it’s all too much.