Saturday, January 28, 2012
When I started nursing over 7 years ago, my goal was to nurse monkey for a year. It seemed like an acceptable amount of time. When Monkey was months old I attended a playgroup (with a great group of moms who I still rely on for help parenting). I remember seeing a mom nurse her 2 year old and I thought, good for her but I would never be able to do that. Fast forward to Monkey's first birthday. I knew she wasn't ready to wean and so we embarked on the journey of extended nursing. Things were going great, she still needed to nurse. So when I got pregnant with Muffin it seemed natural to continue nursing her and then when Muffin was born I could just stop like that and make her feel like milkies stopped because of her sister. I tandem nursed them for 10 months and the summer before her 4th birthday we started to talk about when she would be done. We chose her 4th birthday. The day of her birthday we nursed for the last time and it was a great smooth transition.
Fast forward a few years ahead and in the summer I have the same conversation Muffin. we talked about how on her 4th birthday she would be a big girl and she'd have no more milkies. The closer it got to the big day, the more often we talked about it. I figured it would be a smooth transition like it was with Monkey.
Thursday was her birthday, we had Chinese food for dinner like the Birthday girl requested. Muffin and daddy had baked a birthday cake together and it was dessert. After dinner we had our last tandem nurse together; it wasn't exactly like I would have liked, Tutu and Muffin were fighting, pushing each other off. Later on I had some quiet time with Muffin and we talked about it being her last time to nurse. With crazy bedtimes I wasn't sure if we would have one more chance or not. We didn't but at least we had this time. When Muffin went to bed I was nursing Tutu who woke up. We never had that last moment before she went to sleep. I cried when I found out she went to bed without one last time. As much as I was looking forward to only nursing one child again, it was sad that my girl is growing up and starting to become a big girl. I know she will always depend on me but this was one thing that only I could provide her. It was out special time.
To say that it's been an easy transition would be an understatement. Muffin doe not like the idea of weaning. She has been begging me for milkies. It breaks my heart because it's obvious she still needs it but I also need a break. It was getting tiring nursing the 2 of them, I tandem nursed them for almost 2 years. I"m going to give it a few more days and re-evaluate the situation. I can admit that it was the wrong time for her. Parenting isn't a one size fits all solution. This may only be temporary, in the end I need to do what's best for all of us.