Follow your Dreams

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls. Joseph Campbell

I'm in the process of re-evaluating myself. I know I want more in my life, I want to change things up. I wouldn't call it a mid-life crisis but just an awakening. Things moved fast in my 20's and I feel like I lost myself along the way. I feel I was truer to myself in my teens then I am now. I wanted to share with you a link to a e-course I was/am working on. Maybe some of you are at this same place. I want to follow my dreams but this looks a little different now in my 30's with a house and kids as responsibilities, then it did in my 20's when there was none. When I could take more risks and not worry about the consequences as much. Maybe this will help someone else out.

Birthday Party

After a week of prepping, Muffin's party was yesterday. I think it was a big success, the kids had fun playing with each other, we played pin the tail on the donkey and did face painting. The mothers, we got to talk and hang out which was nice. We enjoyed a feast of cabbage rolls, pierogies (potato & cheese and sauerkraut), chicken sticks, and salad. The cake as a big hit and there was none left for my usual day after party breakfast. Next time I have to make a bigger cake for everyone to enjoy.

The Birthday Girl




The failed balloon drop (that the kids enjoyed anyways)



The face painting






My outfit with the flower bib necklace and the skirt I made

The cake is made

So today was another productive day, I finished cleaning up my MIL's room and I got the cake finished. I'm proud of the way it turned out. It's not perfect but for my first time I think it's pretty good. I've learned from my mistakes and know how to make things better for the next time.


The cake dirty iced




The cake with the supports put in (you can see here some of my mistakes, the fondant was cut a bit too short)



Partway through the decorating


And the finished cake. No perfect but I think it's good for a first try. And marshmallow fondant, while cheap to make, also tastes better then regular fondant (still not great but better).





And here are some random pictures of Muffin and Tutu playing pot lid drums in the kitchen this afternoon.



Looking at Tutu he reminds me of my brother's baby pictures.

Tomorrow is going to be another busy day. I need to pick up last minute things for the party, pick up balloons, clean up the house and decorate. I seriously don't know how I use to host parties when I worked (I think I got very little sleep the few days leading up to it, to ensure everything got done). And it's also a sad reminder that in about 2 months I have to go back. Something I am not looking forward to, I wish I could stay home with my little ones.

Happy Birthday Muffin

Happy 3rd Birthday to my middle child. Muffin has turned 3, I can't believe how time has flown.


Today has been a productive day for me. I made marshmallow fondant for Muffin's cake.




The cake itself didn't turn out, the cake tasted great, the filling I made was great but the cake was too soft and fell apart. I ended up making a birthday trifle and put the other cakes outside to harden so I can ice them for Saturday. Good thing I baked extra cakes.


I went shopping to pick up a non stick rolling pin (which I didn't end up needing today) and got 2 grab bags full of stuff for $2 each. I got some worthless stuff and stuff I was super excited to get. So worth the $4 spent.




And last but not least I used some of the extra fabric flowers I had to update a skirt I had that had a stain on the front and has been sitting in my closet for a few years. I can't wait to wear it on Saturday with my bib necklace to Muffin's birthday party. Sadly I haven't gotten around to taking a photo of the necklace or skirt on me but I will rectify that on Saturday.

Before


After


Hopefully tomorrow will be as productive as I have a lot of prep to do for Muffin's party.

Fabric Flower Bib Necklace

So today was a good day on the creative front. I baked 4 cakes (2 chocolate and 2 vanilla) so I can do a test run of a birthday cake for Muffin's 3rd birthday. I'm going to try decorating it with fondant. I can't believe how expensive ready made fondant is, I ended up buying a dry fondant mix. Hopefully it will turn out OK. Tomorrow I will try and decorate it so we can enjoy it on Muffin's birthday on Wednesday. If it works out then I will make another cake for her party on Saturday.

This evening I also was working with the fabric flowers I made the other day. I ended up making a bib necklace. I think it turned out cute. Tomorrow I will post pictures of it on. But for now here are the pictures of it done and in progress.



The work in progress

All my fabric flowers to choose from.


The pattern for the bib


The layout



And to keep me on my creative streak my copy of Where Women Create came in the mail today. Can`t wait to get some time to sit, read and enjoy it.

And since I have extra flowers tomorrow I will be working on something to make with them.

Picture on the Wall

We're still in the take things one day at a time stage. It was a hard loss for our whole family. Today was a bad day for all of us, we all grieved in our own way. Rock and I were talking about my Mother in Law today and I looked over at the picture of her and my Father in Law (also deceased) hanging in our family room and said she shouldn't be just a picture on our wall. She should still be here with us. I miss her so much. She was such a wonderful woman, she taught me so much and was my biggest supporter and fan. The world is short one amazing woman.

Getting Back on the Creative Horse

I've always been a creative person. I need to have my hands busy (I get this from my mom). Sine my Mother in Law passed away I haven't been able to create. I've been doing keep busy projects but not designing things. So I've been checking out this blog the last 2 days and getting excited about upcycling some clothes. It's got my juices flowing again.I haven't read it in a while and she had a month where she embellished sweaters. I've got lots of ideas. I spent the afternoon and evening making some fabric flowers from old tops. I made 12 flowers and have 1 burnt finger (from singeing the fabric). Can't wait to do more with the flowers. I've torn between making a bib necklace or embellishing a top. Not sure what I'm going to do yet. I guess you'll have to check back to see what they turn into.

Resolutions

The new year, January is a time when people make resolutions, reflect on themselves. I've been using this time to reflect on where I am and where I want to be. Who I've become and who I've yet to become. But this year I was avoiding it. I didn't want to do it because last year I had made some intentions and I thought that they didn't manifest. When reflecting on what it was I had intended, they did come through just not the way I wanted.
Some of my intentions last year were to have another baby and Tutu was born in March. A bigger home with a yard, and that happened just over a year ago. A few smaller things as well. The things I felt that hadn't happened was spending time with family and friends. I thought what I wanted was to enjoy our new home and entertain family and friends. Just relax and have a good time. While that didn't happen the way I wanted I did spend time with family and friends. Also new friends came into my life. Especially the last few months we spent a lot of time with family. And my friends showed me so much love and support. I am so grateful for that.
Now that I realize that maybe things didn't happen they way I thought they would I did manifest my intentions.
And now for my intentions for 2011:
I still want 2011 to be about family and friends but in the way I envisioned. entertaining and having a good time.
Taking some time for me, some time to reflect on myself, figure out where I want to go and take time to create.
I want to find a new career. I don't know what I want to do just yet but I want it to be something that I'm passionate about. Something that brings me joy. I love the people I work with but not the job itself.
I want to take a photography course.
I want to sell some of my creations.
I want to make it up to my children for neglecting them the last 2 years. I want to give them the experiences we weren't able to give them.
I want to encourage them and help them grow.
Today I'm realizing that I can manifest my destiny, that doesn't mean hard work isn't involved but I CAN make my dreams come true and so can you.

Working on me

So 2011 is the year for me. So today I decided to do something for me. I I went to the YMCA today and worked out for the first time in over a year. I didn't do much just 40 minutes on the bike but it was a start. I felt good after (sore, but good)and felt like I had more energy. I also weighed myself and found I am 17lbs lighter then when I got pregnant with Tutu and over 30 lbs lighter then when I got pregnant with Monkey. Yeah me. I know the 17 lbs I lost recently most of it was stress but I want to keep the momentum going. Now just have to keep this up.

Life on hold

Have you ever gone through life, just gone through the motions but not really lived it? That is what the last 2 years of my life have been. I mean I've had moments where I've lived, I've enjoyed but it seems like my life was on hold as I've cared for my family.
Right now that's all ended, I have done what I needed to do but I can't seem to move on. The last few months I complained that I couldn't leave the house, that I couldn't do what I wanted to do, I couldn't create I didn't have time.
Fast forward to now and I'm still at home, I rarely leave, I can't create, I can't live. I live with guilt that I didn't do enough, I should have been done more. I should be the last person to say this but yet I feel like this. The funny thing is that people keep telling me about how I should feel. I should feel proud of myself for what I've done. That there isn't many young people with a young family including an infant who could take care of their mother in law for the last few months of her life. That I shouldn't feel any guilt for what I did, that I did more then most people would or could do. That I shouldn't beat myself up. I don't understand why or how people can tell me how to feel. Am I not the one to own my feelings? Maybe I need to feel this and work through this on my own. I need to get to the other side of my grief to process all that has happened in the last 2 years. Maybe I won't get over it. I guess we'll see, I do hope that I can start feeling a bit better so I can start to create again. I want my heart to sing again.

The family

Let me introduce you to my wonderful family. I am so blessed to have them in my life.



Rock is my husband of 9 years and counting. He is my truly wonderful husband, who tries so hard to do his best by me. He is by no means perfect (but then again neither am I) but he is mine and I love him dearly.



Monkey – she is a truly fascinating creature. She came into our lives over 6 years ago and we were truly blessed. We waited a while for her to come along and boy were we glad when she did. She is full of life, always finding excitement (also know as trouble) and keeps us on our toes.




Muffin is the middle child. She came into our lives after 2 years of trying and 1 loss. She is about to turn 3 in less then 2 weeks. She is full of life, and where we thought her older sister kept us on our toes she does even more so. She is the negotiator of the family.




Tutu is our 3rd and last addition. He is our miracle child who joined us just over 9 months ago. We are still getting to know this little man but he is the most easy going baby of all 3. Can't wait to see who he grows up to be.



My family is my life. They are a very important part of me. Join us on our adventures.

Relaunch

After starting this blog more then 2 years I am now relaunching it. I've been taking care of family for the last 2 years. 2011 is my year, time to take care of me.
Welcome to my crazy corner of the world. I hope to share with you the readers, my family and friends, and myself who I am and who I'm becoming. As a I grow as a person, a mother, a wife and an artist. It'll be an interesting ride and you're welcome to join me. Let's see what 2011 and the future has to offer.