A Better Mother

I know some mothers say that going back to work makes them a better mother. I am NOT one of those mothers. I can say right now (and yes it's only been a week back in but I've done this 2 other times before) that it does not make me a better mother. That if we could afford to I would stay at home to care for my children and house. However neither Rock or myself are willing to give up our current lifestyle, it's not extravagant but it's comfortable
Life right now is tough because I don't get much time to myself (that said all the kids went to bed early tonight). I tried waking up early to have some time to myself but since Tutu got sick he's become a nursing fiend. The last few mornings he's been nursing from 6:30 until 8 (and I really don't want to deny him that because it's our special bonding time). Then I get Monkey ready for school, get driven to work, work for 8 hours come home, help plate dinner, homework (that didn't get finished after school), bath time, bed time and then if I can still keep my eyes open, me time.
It also doesn't help that I'm not happy at work. Since returning from my maternity leave after Monkey I haven't been happy there. Partly because I would rather be home with the kids and partly due to some changes. I do want to do something else but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I guess I should start working on that since I turn 34 in a week.
I think right now I"m in so much turmoil, I'm trying to process everything that has happened over the last year, I've been trying ot figure out what I want to do, plus returning back to work. I *know* things will get better but when you're in the middle of everything, it seems like it won't.


The reasons why I want to be a better mother.